Moving in with your significant other is obviously a pretty big step. It’s a something you do to check if your relationship is going to go the distance, possibly to marriage (if that’s in your plans) and beyond. Hopefully, it’s a romantic process that includes many home-cooked dinners, constant smooching, and quality time spent together. That, of course, is the co-habitation dream.
And as you may or may not know, my boyfriend Ben & I moved in together last spring. We had only been dating a little over a year before we decided to make the move. It was a bit scary at first, living with a guy, which I have never done before. I look back at my initial doubts and think about how stupid it was. I love living with my boyfriend and everything that comes with it – the good & the bad. But even all the worst stuff is kind of the best. Knowing that you can live with someone harmoniously with all the crap that goes with it is an incredibly comforting feeling. Living together takes “getting to know each other” to a whole new level.
So, to celebrate our year of living together, I’m going to share some reasons why living with your SO is simultaneously the best and the worst. (but mostly the best)
YOU WILL HAVE TO COMPROMISE
Don’t always be right. Let things go. Be willing to change. Keep an open mind. Show your appreciation.
I think we are still figuring some of these steps when learning to compromise. Luckily for us, Ben and I are often on the same page, but on the few occasions we aren’t – we need find a way to meet in the middle. Here’s a few topics I think all couples who live together struggle with at some point or another.
DIETS– This is probably not a concern if you like the same things. Ben & I have extremely different tastes. I’m a health nut with a very plain palette and Ben enjoys all things spicy and fried, so we often debate over what we deem “good.”
After a year of living together we have finally worked out a system that works for us. We eat extremely healthy during the work week, hit the gym, and practice good health. We grocery shop together which is way more fun – and split everything evenly which makes shopping a lot cheaper! On weekends, we relax, celebrate our hard work, and treat ourselves to whatever we want! It’s all about the balance baby.
TELEVISION- Ladies, if your like me – you don’t want to watch action films, ESPN or Sports Center every day after work. And to all the men, I’m sure you don’t want to sit through constant re-runs of FRIENDS ( I still done get why not – I mean 90s JENNIFER ANNISTON- COME ON) So to settle our differences we have worked out a pretty neat system. While I do my thing in the kitchen cooking up tasty dinners, he catches up on his sports shows. When we sit down to eat we’ll turn off the sports and put on a show we both can agree on!
HOUSEHOLD DUTIES- This is a big one. Moving in together will force you to figure out out what you both like to do when it comes to household chores. We lucked out and realized that the chef in the relationship (me) hates to do dishes while the eater (Ben) doesn’t mind them at all. So this works well for us! I also enjoy deep cleaning our apartment to make the place look nice, but I can’t do laundry worth sh**. I still haven’t learned to separate my clothes- sorry mom. Thankfully I’ve got a boyfriend who is a master of laundry.
Learn to compromise and share tasks if your likes and dislikes don’t align.
INVESTING IN A BIG BED IS NECESSARY
After reading Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages, I’m convinced that my love language is physical touch (and gift giving). I feel most comfortable when I am being touched or cuddling up to my man.
But even though I like to be close, I also like to be spread out when sleeping, and for us the honeymoon phase of sleeping on top of one another wore out quickly. Maybe that’s just us- but I’ve learned having a big bed is definitely a pro! We now own a Cali. King and I’ll never go back to anything less.
Invest in a bed that fits both of your needs!
YOUR LEFTOVERS WILL GO MISSING
If your reading this post and are in a relationship you’re likely to have already experienced this. While there is the loveliness of sharing a meal and dining in with your partner, there is also the the need to protect your portion of it. Ladies, Men are opportunistic, don’t leave your leftovers out!
Now that Ben & I live together there is no “writing your name on the box” like you do when you have roommates. There is no “oh i’ll just eat that later” because it will disappear in 5 minutes. There is no “lets save the rest for tomorrow” because it will be gone by the morning. I try to find the humor in this and typically it doesn’t upset me, but every so often i’ll return the favor – so I guess it goes both ways :D.
Sharing food is both a pro and a con of every relationship. But if you can’t stand your food being snatched, make smaller portions or eat all your food in one sitting.
YOU’RE GOING TO ACCUMULATE WAY MORE THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED.
Moving in together doesn’t mean just packing a toothbrush and some clothes. This person is moving in their life! When we moved in – my parents were moving out – so we took on all the hand me downs from my rents including furniture, rugs, and kitchenware. Now six months later, Ben’s mom is moving out of his childhood home and he wants hoard all the memorabilia. So be careful … just when you think you had too much stuff, you’re going to get more.
Stay organized and prioritize what you need over what you want to keep.
YOU RARELY HAVE TO DO THINGS ALONE EVER AGAIN!
This is best quoted by Hannah Horvath from the television series ‘Girls’
“‘I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me.”
As I mentioned earlier it’s great to be independent and have enough space of your own within a relationship. But I think this is the best perk of living with your boy/girlfriend- you’ll always have a partner in crime!
YOU SHARE EVERYTHING
Now that your living with your boy/girlfriend you are sharing everything. This can include everything from your food, your bathroom, your brush, to your deodorant. Also another pro / con depending on your relationship.
Pro: I get to wear all his cozy tee shirts.
Con: I steal his socks sometimes when I want to wear my vans. After a little while they seem to just vanish in to thin air! Does anyone else have this problem or is it just me?
YOU LEARN HOW TO FIGHT FAIR
I’ve been taught that living together means we don’t have the luxury of storming out on one another and going home -because were already there. For us we’ve found living together has makes us quickly confront each other when a conflict arises, we communicate more than ever, and come to a deeper understanding. (The making up part is pretty great too).
YOU GET TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE.
I’ve only ever lived with my family or college gal pals. Now that I live with Ben I get to enjoy all the fun things that come with creating a home like picking out a room color, decorating, hosting friends & family, and welcoming a cute puppy into our little family. You can’t beat the quality time you get to spend together and creating a space that is equally our own.
So, I’ll leave you with this: even after all the creepy, weird, or annoying things your partner may do- it becomes worth it when you realize you get to spend every night falling asleep with the one you love, and every morning waking up to their smile. (Love you babe)
Thanks for reading! What were some of your expectations moving in with your S.O? What have you learned about your relationship? Let me know the good, the bad, and the funny. I’d love to hear about your experiences!